Ask any Montrealer about their typical summer day off and a few key concepts are guaranteed to surface; drinking beer on a one way street, chilling with a group of friends that gets larger by the minute, petting a cute dog or two and, of course, the inevitable run-in with a crazy person.
By now we’ve all mastered a certain way of politely telling them to fuck off: “I’m sorry I can’t help pay for your surgery, but have a great day,” or the classic: “I’m sorry, I have no money, but here’s a cigarette.”
But what if said insane person comes in the form of an aggressive Pauly-D lookalike driving a Jeep and not as a harmless drifter asking for some change?
Let me take you to our shoot with Artgang when a would-be member of The Jersey Shore pulled into the lot where we were shooting this editorial. After almost running over a member of our group who was sitting beside her dog, Montreal’s very own Pauly-D jumped out of his vehicle, fuming and screaming.
“TU VAUX PAS UN SOUS,” he screamed, his fake bling bouncing off his chest and slapping back down onto his Ed Hardy t-shirt. “J’VAIS T’CASSER LA GUEULE MAINTENANT.”
Unable to come up with anything other than the occasional “calm down,” the group chuckled and watched with bewilderment as MTL Pauly-D yelled and ranted for what seemed like minutes. Then, he pulled out his cell phone and announced that he would be calling the cops on us. Why? Your guess is as good as ours.
A word of advice: if you make an immediate threat to somebody, the police will not let you off easy.
Analog photos by Delphine Lewis
Styling and text by Savannah Scott